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Mar 10

Lessons From Surgery II

 

Leading up to my surgery six weeks ago, God visited our children in a powerful way at a youth retreat.  As I was getting ready I felt I should have some of the youth at church pray for me, for healing.  Healing would have would made the surgery unnecessary.  With newly reinforced faith they prayed for me.  One of the young men even had an occasion to talk with me several days before my scheduled surgery date and ask me “how is the surgery thing going?”  I had to tell him that the surgery was still scheduled and I needed it.  I sensed that he was disappointed, hadn’t he prayed and it appeared that God hadn’t answered his prayers?  Boy could I relate to that sentiment. How many things have I brought before God, hoping that he would do what I asked?  I felt a bit embarrassed that I was the one to burst his bubble of faith.  I don’t know if I was subconsciously thinking that God would have a harder time refusing young faith, and it was an attempt to manipulate him.  I don’t put those kinds of things past myself.  I am such a schemer sometimes.  Yes I can even throw temper tantrums and hold my breath, doesn’t that look like maturity?

As I went through the experience I realized that God needed to reveal some things to me through the circumstances.  If he had healed me I wouldn’t have gotten such a good glimpse of myself in his mirror.  I needed the test to bring the dross to the surface of my life, and was even thankful for the experience.  A couple of weeks later, I talked with the young man again and told him that God had taught me things through the surgery, things I needed to learn.  I could see the relief on his face, he was again encouraged.  God had answered his prayers for healing in a different way.

I gag on this sugar coated christian act where everything  is always fine,  praise the Lord!

How many times do we have experiences like this and don’t share them with our family?  Don’t they need to see our faith process and learn from it?  What makes me think that the only things I can share with my kids are the victories?  Maybe Matthew West is right when he says “we each have a lot to say, and sometimes what we need to say are the struggles, and questions in our hearts.”  God longs for people who are honest before him.  I gag on this sugar coated christian act where everything  is always fine,  praise the Lord!  There are to many Christians living in a delusional world where they can’t admit that they have problems, ask questions, or have struggles.  It is like admitting that they have stuff going on in their life,  will let the evil genie out of the bottle and they will be cursed.  If they admit they have problems, it will pierce their thin facade of normalness and lots of stuff will come oozing out.  Or maybe they think that God can’t love imperfection and they worship the idol of perfectness.   Maybe they are afraid that being honest will disqualify them from a position of church leadership.

Oh the irony.  It is only when we truly know who we are and what we are capable of, that we see how much grace the savior has given us.  He even extends grace to us by allowing us to go through things that reveal the true motives of our hearts.  He is calling us to deal with our stuff honestly, and in turn find the treasure of his grace.   The ones who have the most debt, are the most grateful when they are forgiven.  Often times I think we as Christians don’t think that we really need to be saved, we don’t do all the bad things others do.  We need God’s perspective on ourselves, not our own fleshly self righteous perspective.  God help us!

1 comment

  1. Nancy

    This is so true,….amen brother,….it is easy when you do have victories and you see great things happening to think sometimes that it is because of you. And then when difficulties come & you just feel like a mess and nothing can fix it immediately,….and then you want to hide because you feel like it is all about you,…and doing everything wrong,…..when God is always redeeming situations,….and people need to see that,…..but I can say that it is not always easy just to let our struggles out, to anyone, believer or non-believer. But it is possible. I believe this has been a year of God exposing some dross too in my life,….and it’s there,….and sometimes it’s ugly & messy,…but I am glad He shows us that,….ultimately !!!

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