Mar 11

Going Through The Motions

I was driving to work several weeks ago I heard this song on the radio.  The chorus immediately captivated me.  I tried to catch the artist and title but didn’t .  I finally heard it again and jotted the title down on a deposit slip so I could find it later.  The words of the song seem to summarize where I have come to over the last several years.  I have really been challenged to reevaluate my life and my priorities.  I have found many attitudes and behaviors that haven’t stood the test of being brought into the light.  Some have gone, some are in the process of going and others I and the Lord are still discovering. The frustrating thing is that I keep finding more.  I so much want a formula of behaviors that will declare me holy.  But there is no such thing.  God judges the motive of the heart.

I have found this to be true in my life.  Putting Godly structures in place in my life, things like consistent intake of the bible and prayer, controlling my reactions, avoiding outbursts of anger, does not guarantee a rightness of heart.  However not putting these things in place in my life will guarantee that old bad attitudes will remain in my life.  I am getting too old (staring 50 in the face) to live in my old delusional state.  I don’t want to be going through life fooling myself and convincing myself that I am Godly, I want to be Godly.  I have spent to much time seeking praise and respect for actions that were not praiseworthy and respectable.  Linda and I used to have an ongoing conversation.  I told her that she didn’t respect and compliment me enough (How Godly was that, self centered maybe).  She would compliment me on something and then say “even when I say it you don’t believe it.”  I have come to this truth in my life.  If I am praised or respected for something that deep down in my spirit I know is not true it has no effect.  Over the course of the last several years, I have quit demanding respect, and compliments.  But when respect comes it is amazing how it lights in my spirit.  When you are being respected for something that really is true it ignites something deep inside you that is incredible.

It has been an excruciatingly painful and humbling process, I have been unable to cling to my old notions about who I am.  When you come face to face with who you really are it is sobering, but it highlights the my need for grace.  Having come through the shock of the initial battles, I am so thankful for what God has been doing.  I was having a conversation with a friend about this very thing and I told him “I have found such a peace in my life since I started dealing with God honestly.”   Here are the lyrics and the video to the song, this says it more eloquently than I can.


The Motions

This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way


2 pings

  1. » Matthew West “Something to Say”

    [...]      I was reading through Matthew West’s website the other day.  I have been deeply impacted by his song "The Motions".  The chorus has become the background music to my life lately, it bubbles up and comes out at the most unexpected times.  The song eloquently says what  I have been feeling in my heart.  I came accross this bio sketch about his new album and especially liked the headline quote from C.S. Lewis.  I have to agree that in my life if often takes great pain to pry my fingers from my old Godless ways, and compel me to reach and grasp for God’s true ways. [...]

  2. » Lessons From Surgery II

    [...]       How many times do we have experiences like this and don’t share them with our family?  Don’t they need to see our faith process and learn from it?  What makes me think that the only things I can share with my kids are the victories?  Maybe Matthew West is right when he says "we each have a lot to say, and sometimes what we need to say are the struggles, and questions in our hearts."  God longs for people who are honest before him.  I gag on this sugar coated christian act where everything  is always fine,  praise the Lord!  There are to many Christians living in a delusional world where they can’t admit that they have problems, ask questions, or have struggles.  It is like admitting that they have stuff going on in their life,  will let the evil genie out of the bottle and they will be cursed.  If they admit they have problems, it will pierce their thin facade of normalness and lots of stuff will come oozing out.  Or maybe they think that God can’t love imperfection and they worship the idol of perfectness.   Maybe they are afraid that being honest will disqualify them from a position of church leadership. [...]

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